Ok, I’m in the early stages of developing this blog and we’ve touched on a few subjects so far but before I proceed with more Sex articles, I need to cover some basics. After all, it wouldn’t be fair for me to teach your man how to eat you out if he gets ‘food poisoning’ from your poorly maintained pussy, would it? Since I’ve been so blunt, let’s get to it. Oh and guys? Get lost. This isn’t for you- trust me, you don’t wanna read this stuff anyways.
1. Cleanliness is next to Godliness
Or godessness… if that’s a word. Basically, when you are bathing or showering don’t by shy. Get up in there and CLEAN it! I’m amazed and how many women are frightened of their own vaginas. Goodness! Your sex is one of the most important parts of who you are- the very essence of you! It should be first on your list during bathing. It’s way more important than shampooing your hair or shaving your legs. Because let’s face it, no matter how smooth your skin or how perfectly coiffed your hair is, no man will want near you if your vagina reeks.
- Step One: Get in your shower in the most comfortable position to wash your vulva. This could be either standing with the shower head running or even squatting while the tap is running. Wash or wipe using a front to back motion (meaning spread your labia apart and wipe from front to back). This helps to prevent Urinary Tract Infections (UTI).
- Step Two: If you are left handed, use your left hand or if you are right handed, use your right hand. Gently rub your vulva with your index, middle and ring finger with clean water, get between your labia (lips) to make sure any discharge, dead cells or dirt is removed.
- Step Three: Using a clean wash cloth or a plastic cup, rinse by pouring water over the vulva front to back. Don’t rub too hard, or get the water too hot. This could lead to irritation.
- Notes: You should not use soaps or washes. These will dry-out the mucus membrane of the inside of your vulva which may cause irritation, and toxins that may be present in some products are more easily absorbed through the mucus membrane. Soaps and washes will also effect the natural pH of your vagina/vulva which effects healthy bacterial balance – this can lead to bad odor and risk infections. Some ingredients in feminine wash/soaps can contain toxins and can increase your risk of cancer.
Wash the buttocks and anal area last to avoid cross contamination. Anal bacteria reaching the vagina (by piggy-backing on a wash cloth or fingers) can cause serious discomfort and/or infection.
2. Tastes like chicken? I hope not.
Your vaginal area needs to maintain its delicate pH balance in order to maintain perfect health. This balance also determines the taste of your pussy and your cum. I don’t wanna call it discharge because come on, who wants to talk about eating discharge? Mmm. No. The normal pH of the vagina is slightly acidic, around 3.8 to 4.5 which is why, as you may have heard, eating fruits and vegetables can make your essence taste sweeter and with a pleasant tang. Alternatively, alkaline-based foods, such as meat and fish, can produce a more bitter taste down there in both men and women. Dairy products, which usually contain high bacterial content, can also make for an unpleasant taste. Smoking affects the taste as well. Be sure to drink lots of water as it will improve the taste.
The time of month can affect the tast as well. You can usually detect a hint of iron (same iron taste you get in the back of your throat during a nosebleed) if you are nearing the time for your period. Obviously, we don’t want to discuss taste during your period…
It’s best to consider your diet and smoking habits the day or two before you plan on having a sexual encounter – that way, when your man (or gal) heads south they’ll be wanting to stay down there for hours and hours to sample your sweet and tangy juices.
3. Pubic Hair – Friend or Foe?
Personally I hate my pubic hair. It always grows in patchy and makes it impossible to trim it into an attractive template like the V or Landing Strip. It’s either all or nothing for me. I prefer to keep it trimmed and not just to make it pretty. Too much pubic hair traps moisture and can cause bacterial growth. Warm, moist, enclosed areas are bacteria’s favourite place to dwell- and your pussy is all of the above. Especially if you are overweight. I trim the hair down with scissors, carefully, and shave or wax the sides to keep a nice bikini edge. No one likes hair sticking out the sides of their bathing suits or underwear…
You can visit your local Spa/Salon to get your bikini area waxed professionally. I have never had this done, but many of my friends say it’s the only way to go.
Are you super hairy? Check out this article over at The Bearded Iris for tips on feminine hygiene for especially hairy women. Some of you may struggle with overpopulated hair like she does. She is hilarious too, you’ll enjoy the read.
3. Tampons, Pads and Your Vagina while on your Period…
During your period you need to pay extra attention to hygiene in this area. Whether you use tampons or pads, be sure to READ THE INSTRUCTIONS. It’s not just about learning how to insert or apply the product, you need to learn the risks and how long you can use it before it has to be changed. If it says every 8 hours (tampons) then don’t wait a minute longer. Your pad should be changed each time you pee and if you go a while without peeing, change it anyways. Leaving that moisture against your skin is just begging for bacterial breeding.
Wipe the area thoroughly with a moist towelette each time you change the product. Paying special attention to your pubic hair if using pads. Some product comes with these wipes now, otherwise I recommend buying some baby wipes and tossing a couple in ziploc bags in your purse. You’ll appreciate this advice once you try it. Whichever wipes you use, be sure they are designed for vaginal use- you don’t want unwanted chemicals that could cause serious illness or injury.
Washing your vaginal area during your period is just as, if not more, important as washing it any other time of the month. You should remove your tampon before showering to ensure the best possible clean.
4.Signs of STD or Infection
Vaginal itching is the most basic and alerting symptom of infection. This could be a simple yeast infection or it could be something as serious as an STD. Please keep these warning signs in mind and if you are experiencing them- see your gynecologist immediately. The best site I have found to learn about STD’s is Avert.org.
Bacterial vaginosis is an abnormal vaginal condition that is characterized by vaginal discharge and results from an overgrowth of normal bacteria in the vagina. See your doctor for this one, it can only be treated with antibiotics.
Chlamydia (Chlamydia trachomatis) is a bacterium that causes an infection that is very similar to gonorrhea in the way that it is spread and the symptoms it produces. It is common and affects approximately 4 million women annually. It’s an STD and both infected men and infected women frequently lack symptoms of chlamydia infection. Thus, these individuals can unknowingly spread the infection to others.
Genital herpes is a viral infection caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV). You can get it from intimate contact with an infected mouth, genitals or skin surrounding the genitals. Symptoms include Fever and flu–like symptoms, genital itching, burning, or discomfort, vaginal discharge, Swollen lymph nodes and a feeling of pressure in the abdomen.
HPV infection (aka human papillomaviruse, or genital warts) is now considered to be the most common sexually-transmitted infection (sexually transmitted disease, STD) in the U.S., and it is believed that at least 75% of the reproductive-age population has been infected with sexually-transmitted HPV at some point in life. Most of the time genital warts don’t cause any symptoms, but you may sometimes experience itching, burning, or tenderness. Condom use seems to decrease the risk of transmission of HPV – ALWAYS USE A CONDOM.
Check out Avert.org’s pictures of STD’s if you wanna be scared into never having sex without protection again.
“Safe sex means making sure you don’t get anyone else’s blood, semen, vaginal fluids, or breast milk in your body — and protecting your partners too!”
Unless you know for certain that your partner is completely std free, you should not be having sex without protection. Even then, using the proper methods of contraception is important to be sure you don’t get pregnant before you’re planning on having kids. Couples who have been together monogamously for a longer period of time may begin to forego items like condoms because they know that they are already STD free and safe together. This kind of confidence requires a committed and trusting relationship. You don’t start out at this stage, it’s something that takes time… as well as std testing.
We’ll talk about a few different methods of Birth Control and STD Prevention here.
Always choose latex condoms. And make sure they are lubricated!
Condoms are ideal for anal or vaginal sex. And when performing oral sex on a partner whom you are not in a committed relationship. Many people forget that oral sex can transfer STD’s the same as intercourse. So always wrap it up. Sucking or fucking, wrap it up! Using lubricated condoms orally is not pleasant though. Non lubricated work in that case. And remember, whenever you use lube with a condom, be sure its actual lube made for sex…. not just some random shit you thought up. No lotion or vaseline! Genuine, water soluble lubricant. KY brand is awesome.
Birth Control Pills and Injections
Pills are most effective when used with a condom. Birth Control Pills don’t prevent STD’s
These are prescribed by a doctor or family planner. You simply take one birth control pill per day, and then either take none or take the special “sugar pills” provided in the packet during your period. These pills are effective at preventing pregnancy but do nothing against STD’s. Be sure not to miss a pill. Set an alarm on your phone for the same time every day and always keep them in your purse- I find that is the best way to remember.
Injections are nearly 100% effective. Administered by a Doctor once every 3 months
Like pills, injections have certain risks you have to weigh before you decide to use them. They increase your chance of liver failure and blood clots, so if you have a history of these, contraceptive pills and injections aren’t a good choice. They have some nasty possible side effects as well, so you really need to read the fine print. Of course, the side effects aren’t guaranteed to happen to you. Most women have little or no issues.
Contraceptive coils (IUDs)
A little plastic device that is placed inside your womb to prevent pregnancy
Again, this is a device which offers prevention of pregnancy only. It holds no power over STD’s. Your doctor will insert it during a simple day surgery like procedure. It can stay in place for a long time so its a great option for women who don’t want to be bothered with more time consuming methods. IUD’s prevent your partner’s sperm from getting through your womb and into your tubes. They are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy.
The “pull and pray” method doesn’t work. Don’t do it.
You have a very good chance of becoming pregnant if you use the old fashioned “quick honey, pull out before you cum!” method. I’m always baffled at how many girls think this really works. This also does ZIP to protect you from STD’s.
And in closing…
There are other options you can discuss with your doctor, but these are the most effective and most used (although IUD’s aren’t as common in the USA we use them all the time in Canada and the UK). Check out this site to learn more detailed information about the Birth Control methods above as well as other options.
Personally, I have had two pregnancies. One was while I was using only Birth Control Pills which I miscarried and then my son was conceived while using just a condom. So you can see these methods aren’t guaranteed on their own. I learned to use both working together. Thankfully I have never contracted an STD, and my fiancee and I are in a monogamous, committed relationship. We no longer use condoms because STD’s are no longer a risk for us and we are at an age and position to happily raise another child if we were to become pregnant.
Ah, your first time. For many of us, its a distant memory of the past. We remember the awkward fumbling and nervous exploration with a giggling fondness. But mostly we remember how much we have improved since then. And that’s the key thing to note, your first time is just that. You’re first time. You will get better gradually and you will one day master the game, but you have to start somewhere. As long as you don’t go into it blindly, you will have a thoroughly enjoyable moment in time.
Really think things through
When you decide you are ready to take the sexual leap in your relationship remember a few things. This site may be read by teens so I want to stress the point that you be aware of the Age of Consent laws in your area. Here is a great site which explains the laws and their details. Be sure you understand that these laws need to be respected for your own benefit. You don’t want your partner to end up in jail, it will spoil the fun.
Aside from your age, it’s important to consider your emotional readiness. Is your partner someone you can depend on to be caring and understanding? A person you are comfortable with completely? Someone who is mature enough to understand the possible ramifications of having sex- you could get pregnant even on your first time and even with protection. Be sure you discuss with your partner everything on this page. If you can’t even talk to each other about sex and all that it entails, you are not ready to have it.
Safety is a major part of sex. Not just protection from pregnancy, but from STD’s as well. Be sure you know your partners sexual history. Take responsibility for your own health. Women are more likely than men to contract a sexually transmitted infection. A condom is one effective method of STD prevention, especially when used in coordination with another form of Birth Control. No one method is 100% effective so double teaming is wise. Be sure to check out our articles on Birth Control and STD prevention methods.
Sounds like a silly reminder, but don’t forget the foreplay! It’s a great part of sex. Kissing, touching, oral sex, fingering, grinding… all these things will not only get you in the mood, they actually help prep your body for what’s to come. Guys need to be fully erect to properly put on a condom and to enter the vagina for intercourse. And girls need to be sufficiently aroused in order to get wet and relaxed enough for penetration. Without lubrication, sex can not only be painful but dangerous- friction is bad for the condom. Have some made-for-sex, water soluble lubricant on hand just in case. KY Jelly is great. The more aroused and relaxed a girl is for her first time, the less painful the sex will be. Don’t tense up. The pain won’t last too long and remember, once your Hymen is punctured, you may bleed a little. Not to worry, this is normal. This also might not happen the first time.
Applying the condom should be done before penetration, and unless you know for certain he is STD-free, before Oral sex as well. I could explain how to put one on, but honestly, a YouTube video is worth a thousand words! I chose one with a British female narrator because I think all how-to videos should be narrated in a British Accent…
Sex can be emotional for us girls. Our hormones tend to make us weepy and insecure at times. Be considerate of your woman’s emotions. Remind her that she is a beautiful person and that you love and respect her body. And girls, remember that you should always feel respected at all times. Never ever let a man force the idea of sex on you. And remember, ladies, you likely won’t orgasm your first time. But don’t fake one. Just let him know out loud when it feels good, that you are enjoying yourself, what you like and don’t like and tell him that you are patient and are ok with trying again next time. There is every reason to be completely honest with each other about everything. Sex isn’t a game, even though it’s super fun, haha.
The Big O
It has long been my belief that we girls need to learn how to have an orgasm and it comes easier for people who know their bodies well already from thorough experimentation to see what feels good. If you are not the type to experiment with self pleasure, your body will take a little more time to get used to the idea of “letting go” with an orgasm. Masturbation is not evil. It’s amazing. And it’s NOT just for guys. Oh and don’t worry about “not knowing if you had an orgasm”. Trust me, you’ll know. 😉
Guys, be prepared for the possibility that you won’t last long. A vagina is nothing like your hand. The sensation you will experience inside a woman for the first time is intense, even through the condom. Don’t be ashamed of losing your load quickly and don’t try too hard to hold back. Your first time should feel good. Your partner will want to please you as much as you want to please her. There are other ways to continue her pleasure when you are done if you are determined to get her there.
Practice Makes Perfect
Always remember that sex gets better over time. The more familiar you become with each other and your own bodies, the easier it will be to achieve orgasm and greater sexual satisfaction. No need to rush it, you have a lifetime of sex ahead of you. Above all, just enjoy yourself. Savor each moment and go into it with a clear yet prepared head… being drunk your first time is not at all recommended. You really wanna be ‘all there’ for one of the greatest nights of your life. If you can go through it as a team, remembering there are two of you and always talk about how you are feeling, it will be a seriously amazing experience for you both.
My name is Chelsea Mara and I’d like to welcome you to Sex Talk With Chelsea! I’m very excited to get this blog started. It’s been a long time coming and finally it’s here. This blog is setup to provide you, all of you, with advice and resources about the most thought about, yet often under-researched area of your life… sex.
For years I have been offering one on one advice about sex, but I have never taken the time to consistently and clearly compile all these tidbits of intelligence. Until now! This blog is a treasure trove of sex talk: intercourse, foreplay, how-to guides, safe sex, risks, sex toys, relationship advice and most importantly of all- Your Questions Answered!
This is a place for beginners and experts. For the young and the old. For the straight and the unconventional. For men and for women! It’s a blog full of dirty little secrets, tasty tidbits, beautiful bedrooms and naughty ideas.
Join me on my adventure, I promise you won’t be disappointed! And don’t forget to send me your questions and topic requests. Afterall, this place is for you!