Keeping your Downstairs Clean and Tasty: Feminine Hygiene Tips

Ok, I’m in the early stages of developing this blog and we’ve touched on a few subjects so far but before I proceed with more Sex articles, I need to cover some basics. After all, it wouldn’t be fair for me to teach your man how to eat you out if he gets ‘food poisoning’ from your poorly maintained pussy, would it? Since I’ve been so blunt, let’s get to it. Oh and guys? Get lost. This isn’t for you- trust me, you don’t wanna read this stuff anyways.

1. Cleanliness is next to Godliness

Or godessness… if that’s a word. Basically, when you are bathing or showering don’t by shy. Get up in there and CLEAN it! I’m amazed and how many women are frightened of their own vaginas. Goodness! Your sex is one of the most important parts of who you are- the very essence of you! It should be first on your list during bathing. It’s way more important than shampooing your hair or shaving your legs. Because let’s face it, no matter how smooth your skin or how perfectly coiffed your hair is, no man will want near you if your vagina reeks.

  • Step One: Get in your shower in the most comfortable position to wash your vulva. This could be either standing with the shower head running or even squatting while the tap is running. Wash or wipe using a front to back motion (meaning spread your labia apart and wipe from front to back). This helps to prevent Urinary Tract Infections (UTI).
  • Step Two: If you are left handed, use your left hand or if you are right handed, use your right hand. Gently rub your vulva with your index, middle and ring finger with clean water, get between your labia (lips) to make sure any discharge, dead cells or dirt is removed.
  • Step Three: Using a clean wash cloth or a plastic cup, rinse by pouring water over the vulva front to back. Don’t rub too hard, or get the water too hot. This could lead to irritation.
  • Notes: You should not use soaps or washes. These will dry-out the mucus membrane of the inside of your vulva which may cause irritation, and toxins that may be present in some products are more easily absorbed through the mucus membrane. Soaps and washes will also effect the natural pH of your vagina/vulva which effects healthy bacterial balance – this can lead to bad odor and risk infections. Some ingredients in feminine wash/soaps can contain toxins and can increase your risk of cancer.
    Wash the buttocks and anal area last to avoid cross contamination. Anal bacteria reaching the vagina (by piggy-backing on a wash cloth or fingers) can cause serious discomfort and/or infection.

2. Tastes like chicken? I hope not.

Your vaginal area needs to maintain its delicate pH balance in order to maintain perfect health. This balance also determines the taste of your pussy and your cum. I don’t wanna call it discharge because come on, who wants to talk about eating discharge? Mmm. No. The normal pH of the vagina is slightly acidic, around 3.8 to 4.5 which is why, as you may have heard, eating fruits and vegetables can make your essence taste sweeter and with a pleasant tang. Alternatively, alkaline-based foods, such as meat and fish, can produce a more bitter taste down there in both men and women. Dairy products, which usually contain high bacterial content, can also make for an unpleasant taste. Smoking affects the taste as well. Be sure to drink lots of water as it will improve the taste.

The time of month can affect the tast as well. You can usually detect a hint of iron (same iron taste you get in the back of your throat during a nosebleed) if you are nearing the time for your period. Obviously, we don’t want to discuss taste during your period…

It’s best to consider your diet and smoking habits the day or two before you plan on having a sexual encounter – that way, when your man (or gal) heads south they’ll be wanting to stay down there for hours and hours to sample your sweet and tangy juices.

Reference: Taste of a Woman

3. Pubic Hair – Friend or Foe?

Personally I hate my pubic hair. It always grows in patchy and makes it impossible to trim it into an attractive template like the V or Landing Strip. It’s either all or nothing for me. I prefer to keep it trimmed and not just to make it pretty. Too much pubic hair traps moisture and can cause bacterial growth. Warm, moist, enclosed areas are bacteria’s favourite place to dwell- and your pussy is all of the above. Especially if you are overweight. I trim the hair down with scissors, carefully, and shave or wax the sides to keep a nice bikini edge. No one likes hair sticking out the sides of their bathing suits or underwear…

You can visit your local Spa/Salon to get your bikini area waxed professionally. I have never had this done, but many of my friends say it’s the only way to go.

Are you super hairy? Check out this article over at The Bearded Iris for tips on feminine hygiene for especially hairy women. Some of you may struggle with overpopulated hair like she does. She is hilarious too, you’ll enjoy the read.

3. Tampons, Pads and Your Vagina while on your Period…

During your period you need to pay extra attention to hygiene in this area. Whether you use tampons or pads, be sure to READ THE INSTRUCTIONS. It’s not just about learning how to insert or apply the product, you need to learn the risks and how long you can use it before it has to be changed. If it says every 8 hours (tampons) then don’t wait a minute longer. Your pad should be changed each time you pee and if you go a while without peeing, change it anyways. Leaving that moisture against your skin is just begging for bacterial breeding.

Wipe the area thoroughly with a moist towelette each time you change the product. Paying special attention to your pubic hair if using pads. Some product comes with these wipes now, otherwise I recommend buying some baby wipes and tossing a couple in ziploc bags in your purse. You’ll appreciate this advice once you try it. Whichever wipes you use, be sure they are designed for vaginal use- you don’t want unwanted chemicals that could cause serious illness or injury.

Washing your vaginal area during your period is just as, if not more, important as washing it any other time of the month. You should remove your tampon before showering to ensure the best possible clean.

4.Signs of STD or Infection

Vaginal itching is the most basic and alerting symptom of infection. This could be a simple yeast infection or it could be something as serious as an STD. Please keep these warning signs in mind and if you are experiencing them- see your gynecologist immediately. The best site I have found to learn about STD’s is

Bacterial vaginosis is an abnormal vaginal condition that is characterized by vaginal discharge and results from an overgrowth of normal bacteria in the vagina. See your doctor for this one, it can only be treated with antibiotics.

Chlamydia (Chlamydia trachomatis) is a bacterium that causes an infection that is very similar to gonorrhea in the way that it is spread and the symptoms it produces. It is common and affects approximately 4 million women annually. It’s an STD and both infected men and infected women frequently lack symptoms of chlamydia infection. Thus, these individuals can unknowingly spread the infection to others.

Genital herpes is a viral infection caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV). You can get it from intimate contact with an infected mouth, genitals or skin surrounding the genitals. Symptoms include Fever and flu–like symptoms, genital itching, burning, or discomfort, vaginal discharge, Swollen lymph nodes and a feeling of pressure in the abdomen.

HPV infection (aka human papillomaviruse, or genital warts) is now considered to be the most common sexually-transmitted infection (sexually transmitted disease, STD) in the U.S., and it is believed that at least 75% of the reproductive-age population has been infected with sexually-transmitted HPV at some point in life. Most of the time genital warts don’t cause any symptoms, but you may sometimes experience itching, burning, or tenderness. Condom use seems to decrease the risk of transmission of HPV – ALWAYS USE A CONDOM.

Check out’s pictures of STD’s if you wanna be scared into never having sex without protection again.

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