Give Yourself a Hand: Masturbation is for Everyone

Grab a tissue and some lube or put in a fresh set of batteries, because, ladies and gentlemen, today we are discussing the joys of self loving! I am very excited to write this article because I’m a big fan of female masturbation. Of course I intend to write about guys as well but mostly I really want the ladies to read this.

Before I begin, I want you to realize there is no one way to masturbate. So the methods and suggestions I write about here are not absolute! Masturbation should be about experimentation. It should be fun, inspiring and nicely naughty!

If any of you have any feelings of shame regarding masturbating you need to dispel those thoughts right now. Your palm will not grow hair, your fingers will not fall off and your soul will not burn in hell for all eternity. Okay, I can’t be certain about that last one but personally I believe that if God made our bodies with the ability to experience pleasure, I am sure he intended for us to do so as often and by whatever means we see fit.

Many of us, myself included, were brought up with the moral philosophy that touching ourselves is wrong. Well I’m sorry mom and dad, but I personally think the reason so many marriages end in divorce is because people are stuck on ridiculous old fashioned teachings such as that one. Masturbation is key to a healthy sex life and a healthy sex life is VITAL to a successful marriage or relationship. What does masturbation have to do with mine and my partners sex life, you say? Well let me tell you…

Masturbation is an essential step in learning about sex. We experiment with ourselves to see how it feels to experience pleasure and orgasm. Without this self practice, our bodies won’t know how to completely relax and react properly during actual intercourse. I believe that women who do not masturbate have a more difficult time achieving orgasm than those who do practice the art of self loving. And men who do not masturbate regularly can find it difficult to sustain and erection for longer periods of time, which of course can lead to unsatisfied partners. I’m not a scientist, and I’m not a degree toting sex therapist either but this is something I firmly believe.

I have spent countless hours pleasuring myself, to the point where I know my body so well that I can almost orgasm on command during sex. I know what I like and I know exactly how I want it. I can move myself into positions during sex which I know will hit the spots that need to be hit, because I know exactly where those spots are. That being said, let me start with the ladies and tell you some of my secrets for truly mindblowing masturbation.

My Basic Routine for Self Pleasure

I like to masturbate in many different ways and positions and for varying lengths of time, but this is a run down of my basic routine.

First I find a quiet space to relax either on the couch or bed, alone without chance of interruption (unless its the good kind: ie, hubby jumps in and takes over). I like to undress slowly, as if I’m seducing myself. Brushing my fingers gently along my skin as I slide off my top and bottoms. Leaving on my panties is a favourite of mine. I find they can be stimulating in their own right.

Next I do my own version of self foreplay. Sucking on my fingers and trailing my hands down to my breasts, caressing each one and lightly pinching my nipples. Remember to breath deeply providing lots of oxygen to your blood so it can reach its destination easily. Afterall, orgasms and pleasure can come from high blood flow to stimulated areas. After massaging and caressing my breasts I gently begin to rub my clitoris through the panties, one hand staying up on my mouth sucking on my fingers.

Fingering that incredible little nub I begin to use my other fingers to tease the skin along the insides of the panty elastics. Slowly finding my way underneath the panties and feeling out the lips of my pussy. I place my thumb on my now bare clitoris and rub around in circles while my index and middle fingers slowly begin to probe deep into my pussy. I finger the two deeply, making a “come here” movement to reach the upper wall where my g-spot is. My thumb never stops stimulating the clitoris meanwhile and I’m still sucking intensely on my other hands fingers.

After several minutes of this stimulation I will achieve either clitoral or g-spot orgasm, or both. I usually keep going even after I reach orgasm and might switch hands or lay on my side and stimulate myself from behind in a similar manner, placing my thumb on the anus and index and middle fingers inside probing the back wall of my pussy.

I never hold back my moans while masturbating. I incorporate them into my breathing and allow myself to moan and breath faster and faster as I edge towards my goal. This is why it’s best to masturbate when you are alone and free to enjoy yourself as much as you like without feeling shy or being distracted. Not to say you can’t masturbate in front of someone, as that has its own sense of fun as well.

Toys for big girls!

Ladies, it’s time to play! One of my favourite ways to reach the big O is with Adult Toy Play. Don’t fear the toys, they are not scary. They aren’t even taboo anymore. Adult Toys have become so popular, just about every lady owns one nowadays. And forget tupperware or candles, there are even home parties for sex toys now! One of my favourite websites for toy shopping is because they’re reliable, reasonably priced and popular enough to have product reviews.

For ladies there are basically two types of toys: Inside and Outside. Inside means they are designed for pleasuring internally: dildos and vibrating dildos as well as butt plugs and anal beads. Outside toys are to stimulate your clitoris and include bunny ears, suction lips, bullet vibes and vibrating panties. My favourite toys are called Bunny Vibes which offer the best of both worlds; and insertable dildo of varying size with a little bunny eared attachment to stimulate your clitoris simultaneously. I can eachieve my biggest orgasms with these vibes because if the timing is right I will have a G-Spot Orgasm as well as a Clitoral Orgasm.

For first timers and beginners I recommend something like a sex toy kit which contains multiple items and a guidebook. The Sex Toys 101 kit from is a good example. It comes with a small but effective insertable vibrator to play around inside your pussy, a silver bullet vibe to try out clitoral stimulation as well as a small butt plug for beginner anal play. They have many different kits with guidebooks. Just visiting the site is a great timepasser for tons of ideas and information.

Rubbing One Out: Masturbation for Guys

Coming soon… I’m still consulting with my partner 😉

Try something new, toys for boys

coming soon: reviews on the Fleshlight and other types of Pocket Pussies. As well as anal play for the brave.

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