Your First Time: What to Expect and What’s Expected
Ah, your first time. For many of us, its a distant memory of the past. We remember the awkward fumbling and nervous exploration with a giggling fondness. But mostly we remember how much we have improved since then. And that’s the key thing to note, your first time is just that. You’re first time. You will get better gradually and you will one day master the game, but you have to start somewhere. As long as you don’t go into it blindly, you will have a thoroughly enjoyable moment in time.
Really think things through
When you decide you are ready to take the sexual leap in your relationship remember a few things. This site may be read by teens so I want to stress the point that you be aware of the Age of Consent laws in your area. Here is a great site which explains the laws and their details. Be sure you understand that these laws need to be respected for your own benefit. You don’t want your partner to end up in jail, it will spoil the fun.
Aside from your age, it’s important to consider your emotional readiness. Is your partner someone you can depend on to be caring and understanding? A person you are comfortable with completely? Someone who is mature enough to understand the possible ramifications of having sex- you could get pregnant even on your first time and even with protection. Be sure you discuss with your partner everything on this page. If you can’t even talk to each other about sex and all that it entails, you are not ready to have it.
Safety is a major part of sex. Not just protection from pregnancy, but from STD’s as well. Be sure you know your partners sexual history. Take responsibility for your own health. Women are more likely than men to contract a sexually transmitted infection. A condom is one effective method of STD prevention, especially when used in coordination with another form of Birth Control. No one method is 100% effective so double teaming is wise. Be sure to check out our articles on Birth Control and STD prevention methods.
Sounds like a silly reminder, but don’t forget the foreplay! It’s a great part of sex. Kissing, touching, oral sex, fingering, grinding… all these things will not only get you in the mood, they actually help prep your body for what’s to come. Guys need to be fully erect to properly put on a condom and to enter the vagina for intercourse. And girls need to be sufficiently aroused in order to get wet and relaxed enough for penetration. Without lubrication, sex can not only be painful but dangerous- friction is bad for the condom. Have some made-for-sex, water soluble lubricant on hand just in case. KY Jelly is great. The more aroused and relaxed a girl is for her first time, the less painful the sex will be. Don’t tense up. The pain won’t last too long and remember, once your Hymen is punctured, you may bleed a little. Not to worry, this is normal. This also might not happen the first time.
Applying the condom should be done before penetration, and unless you know for certain he is STD-free, before Oral sex as well. I could explain how to put one on, but honestly, a YouTube video is worth a thousand words! I chose one with a British female narrator because I think all how-to videos should be narrated in a British Accent…
Sex can be emotional for us girls. Our hormones tend to make us weepy and insecure at times. Be considerate of your woman’s emotions. Remind her that she is a beautiful person and that you love and respect her body. And girls, remember that you should always feel respected at all times. Never ever let a man force the idea of sex on you. And remember, ladies, you likely won’t orgasm your first time. But don’t fake one. Just let him know out loud when it feels good, that you are enjoying yourself, what you like and don’t like and tell him that you are patient and are ok with trying again next time. There is every reason to be completely honest with each other about everything. Sex isn’t a game, even though it’s super fun, haha.
The Big O
It has long been my belief that we girls need to learn how to have an orgasm and it comes easier for people who know their bodies well already from thorough experimentation to see what feels good. If you are not the type to experiment with self pleasure, your body will take a little more time to get used to the idea of “letting go” with an orgasm. Masturbation is not evil. It’s amazing. And it’s NOT just for guys. Oh and don’t worry about “not knowing if you had an orgasm”. Trust me, you’ll know. 😉
Guys, be prepared for the possibility that you won’t last long. A vagina is nothing like your hand. The sensation you will experience inside a woman for the first time is intense, even through the condom. Don’t be ashamed of losing your load quickly and don’t try too hard to hold back. Your first time should feel good. Your partner will want to please you as much as you want to please her. There are other ways to continue her pleasure when you are done if you are determined to get her there.
Practice Makes Perfect
Always remember that sex gets better over time. The more familiar you become with each other and your own bodies, the easier it will be to achieve orgasm and greater sexual satisfaction. No need to rush it, you have a lifetime of sex ahead of you. Above all, just enjoy yourself. Savor each moment and go into it with a clear yet prepared head… being drunk your first time is not at all recommended. You really wanna be ‘all there’ for one of the greatest nights of your life. If you can go through it as a team, remembering there are two of you and always talk about how you are feeling, it will be a seriously amazing experience for you both.